Am i being stupid with this decision?

i think if you lack pion you wont go far. you have to love what you do to some extent in order to succeed. i play tennis and love it and if i was as good as you sound like you are, i would go for it! but if you don't love playing then you wont have the motivation and determination that is essential to becoming the best. you have to want it more than anything else and dedicate yourself to be the best. if this is leading you towards depression is it even worth it? its sad though that your relationship with your parents is so strained by this decision. you've put in so much time and effort, would you be able to just walk away from it?